From Breaking Transfer Records To Breaking Jaws

From breaking transfer records to breaking jaws, Oscar was issued an unbelievable 8 match ban for ‘inciting’ a brawl. Looking more like the latest Marvel blockbuster superhero movie than a Chinese Super League showdown, the clash came about just after Oscar had teamed up with fellow footie Avenger the Incredible Hulk to create a controversial equaliser.

In an official statement from the Super League they stated that the reputation of the league had fallen into disrepute. I for one concur, prior to first hearing about the Chinese Super League just now, I had previously held it in the same regard as the Extraordinary League of Champions, and the Major League Justice League of America.

Here’s hoping that once the ban has lifted, Oscar and The Hulk can go back to smashing the ball into the back of the net, instead of the back of another players head. Regardless you can’t help but agree with the Manager on this one, clearly the players were just being ‘passionate’. Which of course is a valid excuse for behaving like a prat.

You can follow Terry Tidbit on Twitter, @teltidbit. He Tweets mostly about Sportball and lager.

 

Advertisements

Transfer Time

The rumour mill is churning and the agents are being buttered up. It’s that time of year again ladies and gentleman. The transfer window is upon us, and through its frosted glass it’s time for us to look over the juiciest prospects, the far-fetched flights of fancy, and the big money buys.

It wouldn’t be right to start this piece without looking at the Ladchester United line up, and the unequivocal proof that the English Sportballing league is the toughest in the world. That’s right England Footballing Club’s greatest champion and all-time greatest goal scorer (we all remember that superb hat trick against Forgetabijan, and the crucial 40yd belter that beat Inconsequentistan), Waz Ronny struggled to make the starting XI for his club. If even such a titanous talent as that can’t make it in the Prem then what more can be said, than this is the greatest most toughest league on earth?

Sadly this could signal a move away from The Theatre of You’ve Got To Be Dreaming If You Think They’ll Survive Without His Highness Lord  Alex Squeakybum, and back to the club where it all began for Ronny. The Liverpool Blues have been tapped to take back the champ, so he can play out his days amongst loyalist Waz fans. Though let’s face it, if the Major League Sportball Association comes bearing cheques in the millions, his drive to play at the highest level will kick in and see him move to our cousins over the pond.

Meanwhile in the eternal gutter of unimportance that is every team outside the top 4, Wonchster City FC who struggled to stay afloat in one of the other leagues, is set to sign a replacement for their recently retired workhorse Anthony Other, with fresh faced rising star of the little leagues Jon Eric, who’ll be making his move from Northborough Minnows. The reported fee will be a new record sale for the Minnows of £6,000,000.99. In a statement from Wonchester Manager Phil Holder he said

“I think at the end of the day the price is justified, we could have bought Johnny Foreigner for 2 mil, Imran Grant for 1mil, and saved the rest for some desperate purchases in January. But at the end of the day, Jon Eric is a rising English Sportballing talent, so he’s worth it because he’s English.”

It’s hard to disagree with such logic.

Onto our friends in the continent, Das Munchen Kaisers are set to not spend that much money, instead investing in sensational youth facilities and promoting a strong Sportballing culture that produces a lot of home grown talent. We all remember 66, so we’ll see how this folly works out for them.

 

You can follow Terry Tidbit on Twitter, @teltidbit. He Tweets mostly about Sportball and lager.

 

The Special One: Dodging, Weaving, Tax Evading

The Christ Naldo rumour mill is at peak. There can be no further rumouring, speculation, vague analysis and or tweets. WRONG. Sources tell me that in a twist of fate the tax evasion stars have aligned, and they light a path in the night’s sky all the way from Madrid to Manchester.

Manager extraordinaire, known only as The Special One and the mastermind behind Ladchester United’s hugely successful 6th place finish last season, has in a genius move of solidarity with Naldo, also been accused of defrauding the Spanish government of tax money. Quite frankly the dedication by The Special One is nothing short of miraculous.

Look, everyone wants the 96 time winner of the Balloon Door on their team. Some will offer money, others will offer more money. But which other teams out there are willing to step in the same tax evading shoes? I bet none, no other teams, managers or players will be doing this.

Quite frankly this is proof in my mind that Naldo belongs back with Ladchester United. He was born and raised on the sacred grass there, then when he moved to the REAL Galacticos no Gimmicks FC in Madrid he met The Special One. Where they would forge a player/manager bond like no other. Now that bond has only been proven further. The connections are all there, the proof is unquestionable. Naldo will return to England, and it’s all thanks to The Special One,

You can follow Terry Tidbit on Twitter, @teltidbit. He Tweets mostly about Sportball and lager.