It was announced that the Toesnumb Hotspuds new ginormo-stadium is the stadium of tomorrow. I remember fondly as a lad stood in the terraces of my local Sportball team on a Saturday aft, with nought but my sweaty lager fuelled comrades for warmth and comfort. The atmosphere back then when us utterly electric.
Now the electric is pumped through the seats. You heard it here first, no more standing about like a lazy left-back, your seats now have USB charging ports. Perfect for those moments where nothing happens for eighty nine minutes of the game. You can Snapchat, live Tweet, maybe even play Sportball Manager on the iPad?
And whilst you leave your Hamstring Galactico Edge to charge why not saunter down to the world’s longest stadium bar and get tanked up on Hopspuds IPA from the in-house micro-brewery. It’s the must have for next season’s Sportball fan. I’ll stick to Carling thank you very much.
But that’s a side show isn’t? Just the Pie and Pint of the modern era. What really matters though is what’s on the pitch, we all know that. Hence why the turf has more in common with a screen pitch from Michael Bay than it does your local goal posts for jumpers playing field. Three way transforming terra firma, so our cousins across the pond can play some hand egg and not ruin the hallowed grass of a Sportball turf with their bastardisation of God’s sport.
When all’s said and done though, and you’ve had your quinoa and goats cheese pasty at half time, it’s important to assess how this will impact the players and the punters watching. For £1000 quid a season ticket it seems entirely worth it, to get access to charging ports, heating, bespoke lager and edible food, it seems like the stadium of the future is the stadium today’s fan needs.
Speaking of bargains though, I’ve got to share this with you. Me and the Missus just got a new 70 Inch HD Curved Flat Screen Immersive TV on sale for £700 quid and renewed the sports TV package for just £25 per month, for access to all the best games and punditry. So now I can have the lads round and watch in the comfort of my front room. Pretty tidy!