The rumour mill is churning and the agents are being buttered up. It’s that time of year again ladies and gentleman. The transfer window is upon us, and through its frosted glass it’s time for us to look over the juiciest prospects, the far-fetched flights of fancy, and the big money buys.
It wouldn’t be right to start this piece without looking at the Ladchester United line up, and the unequivocal proof that the English Sportballing league is the toughest in the world. That’s right England Footballing Club’s greatest champion and all-time greatest goal scorer (we all remember that superb hat trick against Forgetabijan, and the crucial 40yd belter that beat Inconsequentistan), Waz Ronny struggled to make the starting XI for his club. If even such a titanous talent as that can’t make it in the Prem then what more can be said, than this is the greatest most toughest league on earth?
Sadly this could signal a move away from The Theatre of You’ve Got To Be Dreaming If You Think They’ll Survive Without His Highness Lord Alex Squeakybum, and back to the club where it all began for Ronny. The Liverpool Blues have been tapped to take back the champ, so he can play out his days amongst loyalist Waz fans. Though let’s face it, if the Major League Sportball Association comes bearing cheques in the millions, his drive to play at the highest level will kick in and see him move to our cousins over the pond.
Meanwhile in the eternal gutter of unimportance that is every team outside the top 4, Wonchster City FC who struggled to stay afloat in one of the other leagues, is set to sign a replacement for their recently retired workhorse Anthony Other, with fresh faced rising star of the little leagues Jon Eric, who’ll be making his move from Northborough Minnows. The reported fee will be a new record sale for the Minnows of £6,000,000.99. In a statement from Wonchester Manager Phil Holder he said
“I think at the end of the day the price is justified, we could have bought Johnny Foreigner for 2 mil, Imran Grant for 1mil, and saved the rest for some desperate purchases in January. But at the end of the day, Jon Eric is a rising English Sportballing talent, so he’s worth it because he’s English.”
It’s hard to disagree with such logic.
Onto our friends in the continent, Das Munchen Kaisers are set to not spend that much money, instead investing in sensational youth facilities and promoting a strong Sportballing culture that produces a lot of home grown talent. We all remember 66, so we’ll see how this folly works out for them.
You can follow Terry Tidbit on Twitter, @teltidbit. He Tweets mostly about Sportball and lager.